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Read this if you're new (or bored...).
2005-06-13 - 11:22 p.m.
I want to know...
OW. Ow ow ow. Well, the good news is, two of the moles they removed were fine! One was bad, but hey, this is progress. But the bad mole was on my side. No muscle, no bone, jus fat. Which means it hurts like bad words and will leave a nasty scar. But I'm hungry and irritable, which is much better than the alternative post-op mood, nauseous and depressed. But hey, this is me. Depression is just a deep thought away. So, I go by the handle "questioner" here, and it occurs to me that I havent asked many questions lately. So here goes. If my weblog makes you want to get drunk or shoot yourself, doesn't that mean my emotions are a bad thing? What is a goddess, exactly? Everything is advertised to "make you a goddess," "bring out the goddess in you," or "satisfy the goddess in you." I know it's something we're supposed to aspire to, and I even have a sort of vibe as to what that means, but I certainly can't find the words for it. Which may be for the best -- it seems pretty blasphemous. What counts as a real conversation? Because I'm kind of scared of a future of conversations that go like this: "How was your day?" "I took a nap. You?" "My fantasy team sucks." "Ah." "Yeah. I have to go." I mean, who cares? That's not conversation. That's barely checking in. I want my conversations to be meaningful, at least sometimes. But what does that even mean? How am I going to handle isolation next year? I mean, it generally takes me about a year and a half to make even casual friends. And my master's program is three semesters. That's not a good sign. I'm scared that this will be a repeat of freshman year, or worse, junior year. I'm scared that, now that I'll finally have stories to tell, no one is going to care enouh to hear them. Sure, everyone will be busy, but you make time to do the things you want, right? There was more, but it's stinking hot and my side kills. Stupid Tylenol with its lack of working... So, yeah. Anyone have any answers for me?
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Some questions have yet to be asked. -->
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