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Read this if you're new (or bored...).
2004-03-03 - 10:39 p.m.
How was your day?
I was reading this message board I have with my friends, and I started feeling kind of down. I mean, they're planning these great trips for the weekends before and after my birthday. I'm talking Rome, Barcelona, good Olympic-quality European cities like that. And it's like, what am I going to be doing the weekends before and after my birthday? Very little birthday-like. One of my friends is going to force me to party, since I'll be 21 and all, but at best I'll know two people. And just having met someone twice doesn't count as knowing, so there *may* be one or two I've seen in passing. That wasn't how I'd always thought I'd spend my 21st birthday...
I'd posted on the message board myself. See, tonight I was inducted into Sigma Tau Delta, the honor society for English majors. And I guess that's a big deal. I hadn't really thought about it before today, you know? But when no one responded to my post (except my bf, who responded privately), it was like... Shouldn't it be a big deal? But I'm probably making it to be too big a deal just by asking questions like that. Besides, if you only say something because I noticed that you didn't and said something... well, that's not the right reason to say anything. You know how I feel about that sort of thing, if you've been reading for any length of time...
So, I'm supposed to be going to Boston after finals. I'm really looking forward to it. My bf will be back in the states, so we can look at grad/law schools, do some tourism, and just be glad we're back together on the same continent. Of course, this'll be right after the gay weddings start, and right before the Democratic National Convention. We need to get reservations *soon*.
While we're on the topic of gay marriage, I say why not? I mean, I've heard some people say they want same-sex couples to have all the rights and privileges of marriage, but not have it *be* a marriage. Sounds like semantics to me. I can counter your biblical arguments. And if it's a matter of religion? Well, you have to sign a legal document before the ceremony anyway, right? In some European countries, you have a civil ceremony at the courthouse, and then if you want to and your church allows, you have a religious ceremony besides. I have no problem with that. And if you're not religious, but want a "wedding" anyway? Have your best friend say some words on the beach or something. Love is love, law is law, religion is religion, and when they can all get along, why complicate it?
So, here's another case of irony following me around. In this case it's more genetic than direct, though. My dad has a case of shingles. Now, he's lucky. They caught it right away and the doctor got him on painkillers and antiviral medicine, so he'll be fine. Still, it's not exactly fun, you know? And not only that, he *finally* had job interviews this week. Job interviews he'll have to go to either in terrible pain or drugged up. Lord, please let these go well...
So anyway, for my philosophy class (Feminist Epistemology), I have to read this article on "Romance and attractiveness." It's pretty interesting, and while I don't agree with it entirely, it made some pretty good points. The concept was that how a couple treats each other has to do with how they perceive one another's attractiveness relative to their own. If a man finds a woman to be more attractive than himself, he will treat her very well. If he finds her less attractive, he will treat her badly. If a woman finds a man to be more attractive than herself, she will accept bad treatment, while if she feels she is more attractive, she will demand better treatment. Also (according to this article), how much good treatment she expects before granting him physical intimacy reflects directly on the relative attractiveness between the two. And then it gets into social status. A man may be attractive because he's a star basketball player (although the tattoos do nothing for me, Jameer). A female who is a start basketball player, however, is considered less attractive than the woman who *dates* the star (male) basketball player. The less esteem a woman has, the more crap she's willing to take, so the less respect she'll get from men. Vicious cycle, no? I just find it interesting, considering the first time a guy I wasn’t already dating told me I was beautiful was just after I got into my first serious relationship. Also, where does this dynamic put girls like me, who make the first move because we don't want to wait around? Because we don't trust these guys to get off their asses and ask us -- or our own attractiveness to inspire them to do so. We kind of screw over romance, and then get screwed over ourselves, because, let's face it.
Romance makes you feel desired. And whether it's for the right reason or not... Well, don't we all want to be desired?
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