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Read this if you're new (or bored...).
2004-02-15 - 11:20 p.m.
The Weight of Mass
You know, just once I wish a priest would tell me *not* to reflect. I reflect too much as it is, and nothing good ever comes of it. What was there to reflect on this week? Callings. Again. And frankly, I'm at an impasse on my future, here. I don't know if I should go to grad school, I don't know if it would be wrong to follow my boyfriend if I don't go to grad school, I dont know how I'll feel about myself if he has a law degree at a tier-1 school and I have a bachelors at a tier-2 scool. Inferiority. As in, am I inferior, and if not, how can I stop feeling like I am? The above question doesn't help. And when my friends show off their new improved language skills, name drop, or complain about their GPAs dropping below 3.85, it happens. When my brother puts down his plan to first become the next Bill Nye (the Science Guy), and then take over the world -- and is on the way to doing it -- and I can't even finish a story I'm writing, it happens. When people think I'm worried over nothing, then I'm proven right and no one even *remembers* I was concerned, it happens. When my friends ask me to keep them up to date on the events on campus, and I do, and there's not one shred of evidence that anyone cares either way, it happens. How am I supposed to make a difference like this? Engagement. Oh, no, no, no.... not like that. Not this year or this time next year. I mean, being engaged in what you do, in your school, in your community. You know, it's bad enough I "only" have a 3.37. It's bad enough I can't do volunteer work because all the programs are during the week and I'm only free on weekends. It's bad enough I'm more deeply in love than I've ever been and I'm missing the big monumental days this semester *and* I don't even have a valid excuse like he does (as he's abroad and I'm stuck here). Not only that, but I'm supposed to *engage* in the stuff I'm doing? I'm sorry, I'm running out of "me" to invest. If I get engaged in anything I do any more, I think there'll be health problems. This was not a good week for sleep. Gay Marriage. Ah, the big controversy of our generation. My take? Short answer, let gay people get married. I keep hearing people say "Oh, it's ok if they have all the rights and priveleges of marriage, but I don't want it called marriage." Well, I have two responses to that, and frankly, you don't have to like them, that's the beauty of the internet. But first of all, if all you're withholding is a word, it's semantics, get over it. But if the word "marriage" means something sacred, ok. There's a comprimise. Let's have *all* domestic partnerships, gay or straight, registered with the state as "civil unions," and if you want to get "married" on top of that, go to your house-of-worship, thematic chapel, or natural location of choice, and do that, too. That way, you get the rights of the state, and your church (or equivalent) can acknowlege you are not as you and they see fit. I really think that's the best compromise but we all know it's not going to happen. Oh, and I know there's more. There's *always* more. Why? Because I reflect even when I'm not told to. So when you tell me to reflect, and then give me a starting point... well, you know me. I think too much, and that never ends well. As always, I would love some feedback. But if we're gonna debate gay marriage, let's do that privately. Or better yet, post your opinion in your own 'blog and Note me the link.
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Some questions have yet to be asked. -->
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